Sorry, Baby
by garretelliot
Summary: Why would you walk away after twenty years


Title- Sorry, Baby   
Author- garrettelliot  
Rating- PG, probably G but I like to play it safe  
Summary- Why would you walk away after twenty years of marriage.  
Disclaimer- They don't belong to me and Dick won't share.  
Author's Note- Thank you, as always to my favorite author, FaithHopeLove, who encourages me. She thinks my stuff is good.( I'm taking donations for her psychiatric care) Just kidding. Faith, you rock. These are just Kathy's thoughts on why she left. I like Kathy and I can't see El loving a woman and living with her for twenty years who turned psycho suddenly. I know most of my stuff doesn't show it but I believe E/O is the best pairing.

He's with her tonight .I know he is. My husband is in love with another woman. The one he works with every day. I wish I could hate her, but I feel sorry for her. And him.

Don't get me wrong, they are working. I know that he hasn't broken his vows. Elliot's not that kind of man. Honorable, honest, divorce would never enter his mind. But he is in love with his partner. I seem to be the only one of the three of us who knows it.

I'm afraid for him if things don't change. He is so angry with himself and I really don't think he knows why. He would stay with me till death do us part, because when he makes a promise he keeps it. I am married to a knight in shining armor, every little girl's dream, the happily ever after kind of guy. He won't see how he feels about Olivia as long as we are together. If he doesn't see soon, there won't be anything left of him.

I remember the day I told him I was pregnant with Maureen, he looked like I had just given him the world. We were just kids ourselves; to damn young to understand that life is not a fairy tale. My god, Maureen is older than I was when I had her.

He holds me at night and I know he will never let me go, not just for the sake of the kids, but because I am his wife and husbands and wives stay together and because he is Elliot. My husband is a stubborn man.

This will be the hardest thing I've ever done. He'll look at me with those beautiful eyes, eyes that I could see the love in once, but haven't, in a while, since about two years after they became partners. All I see now is that stubborn determination and a haunted hollowness.

After I convince him that I mean it, he'll cry. What, you don't think he can cry? I've held him many nights while he did just that. Wept for his parents each in turn when they died. Wept for all the ones he couldn't save, the pain he couldn't keep from them, the ones he won't talk about. And the night he wept for Olivia after her mother died. Believe me, his tears are one of the things that make him strong, even though I'm the only one who sees them.

And then there is Olivia, so beautiful, so sad and alone. So unsure of who she is beyond the obvious. She asked me once why she couldn't seem to find a guy, told me she envied Elliot and I. I didn't tell her what I really thought, that you can't find a soul mate when you already have one. I just took her hand and told her I knew there was some special out there for her.

I've become quite good at lying to the people who matter. Do you find it hard to believe that I count Olivia among those who matter? You don't know me very well. Olivia matters to Elliot, so she matters to me. But then Olivia would matter all on her own. She sees herself as tough, hard. But I've spent a lot of time watching her. She is loving, caring, and the perfect match for my El.

After the dust clears, they'll notice what they have, what they've always had, love. The kind of love that lasts forever, the kind I thought Elliot and I had. Sorry baby, we were just to young. We didn't understand what forever means. Now I do, it means loving you enough to send you away, so that you can find your way home to her.

I've made my decision. When he comes home tonight, I'll tear out his heart so she can mend it. I don't want to hurt you, Elliot. But it's the only way to heal you, so you can go on being that knight in shining armor. Untarnished by self- inflicted pain, bloodied but unbowed. Able to continue being the loving, gentle warrior you were before.

When they have found each other, I'll be able to explain to him why I've done this. I'll be able to let go of the lie. Blessed Mary, forgive me. I hope you understand why this is necessary. Is a lie told out of love a sin? If so I will confess as soon as they are together. But may God forgive me the only absolution I need, will be Elliot's happiness.

" Kath, you still up, baby."

" In the kitchen, honey. Come sit down, I need to talk to you."


End file.
